Adult Lessons, i.e. Adolescence

Adult Lessons 

NOUN

1. a teaching moment in life that instructs someone what it means to become an adult; it is not limited to teaching a young person and the lesson often holds an unclear objective, which may be similar to adult life itself.

Synonym: Adolescence

I talked with a coworker one day last week and he mentioned his son was turning 21 that weekend. As we talked about what made a kid a good kid or a bad kid, he went on to say that his son received a “Minor in Consumption” ticket almost a year ago. The Offense Code is Y5105 under the Minnesota Statue 340A.503 PERSONS UNDER 21; ILLEGAL ACTS and is when a minor age 18-21 years old consumes alcohol. There is a different code for someone under 18.

His son, who I will call the good son, was walking home with another friend, and was stopped by police. Earlier that evening, someone had reported a break-in of a vehicle nearby, so the police stopped and questioned the kids. The police asked if they could search the kids' backpacks and they agreed. After searching the backpacks, the police found nothing suspicious. However, they did smell alcohol and asked if they had anything to drink. The good son admitted to having a beer at the party and was issued a ticket for having consumed alcohol and being a “person under the age of 21 years.” The other kid was 21 and did not receive a ticket.

The good son was now spending the summer at the family cabin, alone, and was following the letter of the law. To celebrate his "coming of age," the good son looked forward to having a beer on the boat with his dad while they fished.

Later that week, I talked with a different acquaintance who talked about having a “writer’s mind,” as we both like writing. He told me that once when his son was falling down drunk in the street in their neighborhood, his first impulse was to rush to get his notebook so he could write everything down. His wife, on the other hand, was distraught, not only over the son’s behavior, but also by the father’s cavalier attitude over the incident. Since the incident was many years ago, I asked how his son had turned out and he said that he now had a successful business and was doing great.

It seems hard to know what to tell kids these days. Tell the truth, don't tell the truth, don't break the law, but if you do break the law, don't admit it to the police. Confusing. There are advice columns everywhere and no right answer seems to fit everyone or every situation. But, it doesn't mean that there is no right answer. I actually believe that there often is a right answer. The problem is that no one else can tell you what that answer might be.

Reflections on Laughter (revised 11/20/2016)

I turned a corner at my gym a few months ago and was so deep in thought that when another woman came around the corner, I jumped. I jumped so high that I actually scared the other woman, who then also jumped. We turned to each other and burst into such intense laughter that we both doubled over. We couldn't even speak to each other as we tried to continue on our separate ways.

Later, I laughed again to myself in my car on my drive home. I chuckled thinking about this before I went to bed that night. Even now, several months later, I find myself snickering.

Laughter is a wonderful thing. Sometimes, though it can be a problem.

More times than I care to remember I sat in a pew at church desperately trying to stifle my laughter. My efforts were so strenuous that I would break out into a cold sweat. My body would shake as I held back my giggles to the point of distress. A mere glance at my siblings would cause an eruption of laughter so loud it would echo throughout the church, causing everyone to turn around and stare. My parents would be humiliated, everyone knowing who hadn't taught their children how to behave in public. I would pray for the clatter of everyone rising to our feet just so I could disguise my laughter in the scramble and noises of the congregation. Even this memory is a little distressing.

We know laughter can be contagious. It also comes in many sizes. We have the chuckle, the chortle, the giggles, a snigger, snicker, cackle or a gafaw, a titter and a snort - just a few descriptive words to describe the verbalization of mirth, joy, or surprise. Or, what happens when we are tickled.

But what exactly is laughter, really?

It can be a physical release of built up tension. Some believe it is even a short-circuit in the brain caused by unexpected or incongruous things. Or, just what happens when we experience two contrary emotions at the same time. (Who hasn't had to stifle laughter at a funeral for the stupidest things?)

It is interesting to note that laughter transcends both language and species. Gorillas, chimpanzees and even apes laugh - which often triggers our own laughter when we are a witness to it at the zoo. I learned that even dogs laugh. I did not know this.

Look up "Laughing Dog" on Youtube for a good laugh. Here is one I enjoyed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm8-bw3nLMA

The benefits of laughter are well publicized and include a release of endorphins, improved sleep, lower blood pressure and improved immune functioning. Laughter eases digestion, increases blood flow, relaxes muscles and enhances creativity and memory. It also feels pretty darn good. So, why not indulge in a bit of laughter every day.

Here are a couple other favorite videos:
Quadruplets Laughing

Baby Laughing at Paper Ripping
Enjoy!