I am reminded that I am getting older every time I am forced to pull my cheaters from my purse to read, well, anything. Of course, at fifty-something, a change in my vision is not a new experience. Years ago when I was in my thirties I realized I had just passed my exit to go home because I couldn't read the sign up ahead. I learned that myopia is when things up close are clear, but things at a distance are not. That was when I got glasses for the first time.
As a kid I once faked my vision test hoping that I, too, could wear glasses. Oy vey. Lucky the doctor saw through my ploy.
Back when I had perfect vision, I wondered if myopia wasn't really caused by people focusing too much on themselves and too little on others. Thinking back, I was quite focused on me back then. Perhaps this intense focus on me really did make me lose focus on others - literally.
Years went by and then like many people, when I hit 40 I noticed a different change in focus. This time, focusing on things up close became more difficult. This change is due to presbyopia, a hardening of the lens inside the eye. We compensate by bringing things closer and then finally by getting cheaters. Interestingly enough, this was around the time that I had shifted my personal focus. I became more active in professional associations and even started to do volunteer work as a tutor. As I focused more on others, my ability to focus on things up close apparently diminished.
As kids, one of my brothers had a condition called lazy-eye or amblyopia. Ironically now as an adult my brother is always active, always going somewhere and almost always starting or completing a big project at home. No theory here, just an amusing side note.
My mid-forties brought another change when it occurred to me that I no longer needed driving glasses. My distance vision had improved, but I still needed two sets of glasses: one pair for reading and eventually an even stronger pair for reading in dark places. I could no longer read labels and squinting no longer worked. This is called hyperopia and is when you can see clearly in the distance but things up close are blurry.
So whether any of my theories hold true, I can no longer keep track. Perhaps the meaning of things is only what we make of them. When we are ready for a new perspective, something may come along to shift our focus. We must simply be ready and see the opportunities before us.
When my brothers and I realized that my dad was deteriorating from Alzheimer's we all shifted focus to spend more time with him. It would be the only time that we would have this opportunity. After living in Colorado for two years, my husband and I were ready to pack up and move back to Minnesota. I was ready for a job change and chose a job that provided more stability rather than challenge where I could invest my energy in other things.
Of course, I know that my vision will likely no longer improve. And, with that realization, I have a new understanding of why my near vision might suffer as I age. Quite simply, what I can't see doesn't bother me. Since it is much harder to keep the house clean, what with all that bending down and picking things up and all, this change in vision may really be a good thing. I am far less concerned about how clean the house is compared to when I was in my thirties. It may be because I can't see the crumbs on the counter, don't see the mess in the mudroom and forget to fuss over the little dog hairs on my sweats after I play with Sophie on the living room floor. Or, it could be that finally I realize what the important things in life really are. Either way, this new perspective leaves more time to focus on the more precious things in life.
And, well this shift in focus suits me just fine.
No comments:
Post a Comment